More Than A Memory
by Blondejoke101
Summary: During the final battle an accident happens. How does Harry handle it? Rated M for saftey. My summary sucks, the story is much better.
1. Goodbye I Love You

-Crack- "Crucio!"

-Crack-

-Crack- "Expelliarmus!"

-Crack-

-Crack- "Avada Kedavra"

-Crack-

-Crack- "Stupefy! What, scared of me Tom?"

-Crack-

-Crack- "Crucio!" "Protego! Why are you apparating all over the place?"

-Crack-

-Crack- "Why can't you fight like a man Tom? Why do you have to apparate to get away from my spells?

-Crack-

-Crack- "Sectumsempra!"

-Crack- "Missed me Potter! Looks like the mudblood was apparating to your rescue and you hit her instead. Ha!"

"Hermione no!!"

"Crucio!"

"AHHHHHHH…" Then, something snapped in Harry (and not because of the curse). He forgot about his wand. He lunged at Voldemort. Harry was punching every inch of Voldemort he could reach. "You fucking bastard! This is all your fault! You are going to rue the day you messed with me and my family friends!! I'll fucking kill you. I'd kill your whole fucking family if it weren't for the fact that you don't have one. I want you and your reign of terror to end." Voldemort was severely bruised before Harry remembered his wand. Harry grabbed it. "Good bye Voldemort. AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!"

Harry ran to Hermione's side. She was still awake. Just. "Don't worry Hermione. I'll get you help. You will be alright." Harry was trying to make his voice be a cool hard rock that Hermione could grab on to. It didn't help that his mind was still cursing with rage but he wanted to be there for her and not caught up on Voldemort.

"Harry, I wa…"

"No Hermione, save your strength. You are going to need it. Do you think you could apparate?" Hermione shook her head no. "Then I'll do side along. Come on. Stand up. You can do it. There you go, now I'll get you to the safe point.

-Crack- Harry was holding on tight but halfway through Hermione went slack. Harry held on tighter and managed to pull her through. They arrived in front of Grimmuald Place.

-Crack- "Shit, she passed out." Harry picked her up bridal style and carried her to the door. Once he got inside he met Mrs. Weasley.

"Oh my god! What happened to her. Is sh-"

"I need Professor Snape and a blood replenishing potion, stat." Harry's voice was still calm. It was better that way. Don't need to let everyone know what happened yet.

"But, Harry-"

"No buts. Get them now. I'll be in the drawing room." Harry carried her into the drawing room and placed her on the couch. Then he did the best he could to try to revive her and clean her up. It wasn't easy. She just kept bleeding. Soon the couch was red with blood. Finally Snape showed up. Along with everyone else.

"What happened Potter?"

"I was fighting Voldemort. He was apparating all over the place and someone apparated behind me. I thought it was Voldemort and aimed the Sectumsempra curse behind me but it was Hermione not Voldemort." Harry was fighting hard to keep the emotion out of his voice. He needed to be strong for Hermione.

"Okay I'm going to need to be alone with her. Any distractions will mess this up. Get a blood replenishing potion ready."

Harry was preparing the potion when Snape walked in. "Harry I am afraid to say that she didn't make it. She lost too much blood."

"Oh, okay." Harry got up. He extinguished the fire under the cauldron and walked out the door. He just kept on walking. He took a beetle out of his hair. It was just Rita who was a registered animagus now. She was up there to get the truth on what happened during the battle. He knew what Rita would make this into a juicy story. He made it out the door and to his car before he started crying.

He woke up the next morning in his car to a bunch of owls pecking at the door. He made it home at least, though he didn't know how. He must have cried himself to sleep in the car. He unrolled his window enough to let the smallest owl through. Pigwigden could barely make it through. He was carrying a huge package.

There was a tearstained note from Ron and the morning paper. Harry didn't get the morning paper so he knew it was important if Ron was sending it to him. Harry read the note from Ron first. It was a good idea.

_Harry__**,**__ Don't read any mail unless you know the person who sent it personally. And even then be careful. Something bad appeared in the paper this morning and you should judge who's letter you want to open very carefully. -Ron _

_P. S. I still go by your name for her. That Rita Skeeter is a cow. _

_P. S. S. All the family knows you wouldn't do anything like that. We all know you loved Hermione more than life itself. It was a wonder Ginny didn't tell her. _

He was right. The article in the paper Ron was refering to was 5 pages long. It started on page one:

_**You-Know-Who is Dead: My Front Line View Through Harry Potter's Hair! **_

Harry skipped right over that and found a article about half a page, starting on page 6. It read:

_**Harry's Blunder: Did He Intentionally Kill His Best Friend?**_

_Rita Skeeter, the Daily Prophet's star reporter has some shocking news about someone we all thought we knew. Harry Potter, 17, has jet black hair (I should know, for full details read You-Know-Who is Dead: My Front Line View Through Harry Potter's Hair!) and green eyes. He is 5'9" and every girls dream date. He is on the good side but we all know that. What we don't know is if he has a darker side. Does he? _

_On October the 31st (exactly 16 years after the death of his parents) Harry's best friend, Hermione Granger died of suspicious circumstances. It was near the end of the battle (for full coverage on the battle, see pg 1), when Harry was fighting Voldemort, that it happened. Harry turned around and saw Hermione. He shouted some unheard-of spell. It sounded like Tescum pius. Blood just started spurting out of Hermione. _

_And then turned around and started muggle dueling with You-Know-Who. Of course, You-Know-Who being pure-blood, did not know what Harry was doing and could not fight back. For all of those out there who does not know what muggle dueling is. It is where you hit people with your hands and feet instead of using your wand. _

_Hermione died later that night despite the valiant efforts of Professor Severus Snape, potions master and Defense Against the Dark Arts expert for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to save her. Nothing is known about how Harry is taking this latest blow (if the accident really was an accident)._

Harry read the article twice before realizing what it said. "Shit. I'm screwed now."

He then got to his "fan" mail. Everything from his friends showed support and sympathy. He didn't open anything else. He started crying when he was packing up, finding all the stuff that Hermione gave him, and everything he was going to give her after the war (love letters, jewelry, etc.).

The funeral was a week later. Everyone was crying. Everyone went. Including Harry, who was in disguise. He didn't even make it past the door before Ron and Ginny walked up to him. "Who the hell are you and why are you here?" Ron asked, thinking it might be reporters.

"I'm so glad to see you, but where is Harry Potter? My name is Harold. I'm sure Harry's here in disguise is he?" Harry said the two sentences he had been practicing for the last hour. Ron (not surprisingly) didn't catch on.

"I am not sorry to say that we are not accepting report- " Ron was saying until Ginny stepped on his foot and then whispered something into his ear. Ron's face went slack and then rearranged itself. He attempted to greet Harry again.

"We are so glad you could make it Harold. Did any buggy reporters follow you?"

"No. I'm going to go up and give my last respects to Her- her." His voice cracked and tears started leaking out of his eyes again. He walked up to her coffin.

Harry held her unnaturally cold hand. It was something he just had to do. He didn't know why. He couldn't believe this was going to be the last time he held her. He was telling her everything he never did. Everything he should have told her before. Everything he was waiting until after the war to tell her. He was still crying. He hadn't stopped since that day, over a week ago.

"Hermione, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I never wanted to hurt you, let alone what I actually did. I should have told you before now, but I was waiting until after the war. I suppose that if you were here you would have said something like 'it's never too late to say so' but now you're dead and it doesn't count anymore. I love you. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than I love myself. I hate myself. I know you would say something like 'Don't blame yourself it was an accident' but now because of me you can't. It is all my fault. I should have told you I love you a million times a day. I don't know how I'll get on without you. I don't even know how I'll live with myself. I am so sorry."

The funeral went on. It was now time for Harry's eulogy. Except he was talking as Harold. Even though it was his friends and family there he still couldn't show himself. Some of them believed Rita Skeeter's version of events.

"Hermione was the smartest person I ever knew. She was warm, bright, fun loving, a book worm, and there could never have been a better friend than her. She knew everything about me, and knew how to cheer me up when I was sad, how to occupy me when I was bored, and when I needed a friend or just needed to be left alone. I know I would never know how to do all those things for her, but I helped her when I could. I loved Hermione more than she ever knew, and was waiting for the right time to tell her. That time has passed me now, so I am telling all of you instead. I hope that wherever she is, she is looking down upon us and smiling, knowing that we will never forget her. I am sorry Hermione."

Harry was crying the whole time he was speaking but everybody heard and understood what he was saying. For someone that they didn't know (excluding Ron and Ginny), he had described Hermione better than they ever could.

The funeral moved on and "Harold" was a pole bearer along with Ron, Neville, Mr. Weasley, Victor Krum, and Mr. Granger. He had "filled in" the spot that Harry was supposed to have. They buried Hermione in the Granger's burial plot. Next to her mother's fourth cousin's uncle, who was twice removed, Hector Dagworth-Granger.

It was raining out but nobody noticed. The raindrops danced with the tears on their faces.

He stayed at the gravesite long after it had been filled in and everyone had left. It was still raining and Harry was soaked to the bones but he took no notice. He had stopped shivering from the cold an hour ago.

Finally he decided he better go and pay for the ruined tuxedo. It was long since due. He went and paid for the tux and then finished gathering his things an moved. He moved far away from London to a city on the coast of England. He hoped it was far enough away where he knew he could get away from the reporters and hopefully away from the memory of Hermione altogether.

Before he moved he went back to Hermione's grave just long enough to say 4 words. "Good bye my love."


	2. More Than A Memory

A/N: The song is More Than A Memory by Garth Brooks and it is in Bold. I own neither the song nor the characters (most of them anyway). I only own the plot and the characters Susan, Cindy, and Gwendolyn.

This chapter takes place 10 years after Chapter 1 Good Bye My Love. Harry is not doing too good.

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"Heyyyy! Thissss isn't thhhe beeeeer I asssked forrr. Wherrre's myyyyyy beeeer?"

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm going to have to cut you off. You know the limit's 10."

"But I havvvven't forrrrgot her yeeeet, Sussssan."

"Harry, you've been saying that for the last 2 years. And the previous bartender said you had been saying that for the 8 years before that. Who is the "Her" you're talking about?" Okay, that slur was getting annoying. Susan cast the charm all good bartenders know. It clears up the voice so the people aren't slurring the words and you can hear the customer talk and you don't get the order wrong.

"Only the love of my life."

Susan was trying to get him to talk about what had happened. He'd been going on about this for 10 years (or so she was told). Her and the last bartender had only ever got that far because every time they got that far another customer came and ordered a beer and by the time she got back to Harry he would be gone. But business had been slow the past couple of days and she thought that today was the day that she would hear the rest of the story, and then be able to pass it on to Cindy, who was 57 and had retired 2 years previously to have the job taken over by Susan.

"So, who was the love of your life?"

"A very good friend of mine."

"Yeah, but who was she?" Even though she had cast the spell to keep his speech from slurring, you could tell he was drunk. He never talked about her otherwise.

"Hermione Granger. I was deeply in love with her and I was going to tell her at the end of the war. Well the final day came and I was fighting Voldemort. He, in order to avoid my spells, was apparating all over the place. Well Hermione came to find me and apparated in behind me. I thought it was Voldemort so I turned around, only as I was doing so, I yelled a curse at the same time. Then I saw who it was. It was Hermione. The curse hit her, only before I could go to her, Voldemort popped up. By the time I had finally killed him it had been 5 minutes. By the time I got her to the creator of the curse, who was the only one who knew how to stop the bleeding, she was unconscious. She died before he could save her. She had bled to death. "

At that point, Harry broke down and started crying. Susan felt so bad for him. She knew the story well, having learned about the incident when she first went to Hogwarts, 9 years ago (she was muggleborn and the muggles didn't know anything). It was the 1 year anniversary and all the teachers were talking about it. There was a reprint of Rita Skeeter's article every year on that anniversary. Now Susan was hearing it first hand. She knew Rita was a idoit and almost always lied. Now she was hearing the true story. She pressed him for more details. "So what happened next?"

"Rita Skeeter's article came out. And I went to the funeral. Then I moved here, severed all contacts with anyone I knew previously, and using my money, bought myself a cheep house with a bed and came here to drink away her memory. So far it hasn't worked."

**People say she's only in my head  
****It's gonna take time but I'll forget  
****They say I need to get on with my life  
****They don't realize**

"Harry, take my advice, she is only in your head now. Let go of her. Just try to lead a normal life. You'll forget about her eventually. Just let go. Don't waste your life in the gutter. Go out and get yourself a nice girl that'll make you forget about Hermione."

"Go to hell Susan. I don't want to forget her."

"Then why are you drinking your ass to death every day 'To forget her'?" Susan was close to yelling. She knew Harry was a nice guy without the booze. That's the way most of them were. She didn't want him wasting his life over some dumb accident.

"JUST SHUT UP! LET ME RUN MY OWN LIFE. I WON'T FORG-" Harry got an idea. He knew how he was going to forget her. He could even hook back up with his old friends after that. It just might work. Harry immediately went home. He started to write a letter.

He sent it right away. Hedwig had become a pet that wasn't really used much because Harry had no reason to use her. She was the only thing that tied him to his former life. He loved her a lot and she was happy to go back to work.

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When Ron saw Hedwig he choked on his cornflakes. Lavender pounded him on the back and he managed to spit them out.

"What is it Won Won? What happened?" She crooned

"Yeah Dad, you okay?" His daughter asked.

Without answering, Ron ran out into the yard grabbed Hedwig and jumped in the car. Lavender ran after him and 7 year old Gwendolyn was hot on her heels. "Dad, what's going on?"

"You're white as a sheet and you didn't even read the letter yet. Who died?"

"I've been waiting for this owl for 10 years. Write an owl to my work, tell them there is a family emergency and I will not be coming in to work today. Lavender, no one's died. Everything is fine, just something came up. It's family business and I can only speak to my parents and such about this. I'll give you an update tonight. Okay? Got to go, love you both. See you girls tonight. Bye." Ron said all of this in a rush, got in the car and drove off. He got to his parents house, grabbed the new family owl Jerry and sent short letters to Ginny, Fred and George, Bill, Charley, and Percy, and then said hi to his mom and dad. The letters read:

_Come to Mom's ASAP. Family emergency, much more important than work. -Ron _Within half an hour, everyone was there, some looking sleepy, some worried, and yet some bubbly.

"Okay, Ron. What is this about? Why did you get us all here? Is Lavender Pregnant again?"

"No, it's Harry. He sent a letter."

"What!?!" came from everyone.

"I'm eating my breakfast, and an owl was tapping on the window. I look up and it was Hedwig. After I got the cornflakes out from stuck in my throat I grabbed Hedwig, came here, and wrote to you guys. I haven't even read what he sent yet. Here goes:

_Ron,  
__It's been a while. It's me Harry. Harry Potter. Look, it took me ten years to realize that I wasn't going to drink her memory away. I am going to get my old life back and I know it is going to take some work. I'm getting an appointment at St. Mungos. I know they do memory removals. I want to remove her memory the easy way. What I am doing right now is not healthy and I need help. So I will go there to get the memory removed and then I'll be staying there to get myself off the booze. If you do want to hook up sometime after that or whatever, drop me a line. And if you don't want me back in everybody's life, drop me a line. _

_See you soon I hope,  
__Harry" _

"He's coming back?"

"He's getting his memory modified?"

"Is this a joke?"

Everyone was talking at once, shocked that after ten long years, Harry was coming back. It took a while for everyone to calm down and start writing a letter. But in the end, they were proud of it. Then they sent it to Harry.

Harry got it the next day and it said:

_Harry,  
__We are so glad you finally decided to forget about her, and become a productive member of society. We are also glad that you are coming back into our lives. We have missed you so. Good luck getting detoxed. _

_We'll be waiting for you,  
__The Weasley Family. _

Without further ado, he packed all of his things and moved to an apartment in Diagon Alley. He put all of Hermione's things in a box and then burned them. Everything besides her wand. He then put her wand in his wand box and the wand box in his safe. He always kept his wand box around and never used it so he didn't think it would matter.

Then he apparated to St. Mungos. There he got his memory modified and they told him he was there to get detoxed. He spent 6 months there. When he got out he went to his apartment. He began to unpack. Over the next couple of months he got settled into his new life. He was working at Weasley's Wizard Weezes, making a steady income. In his spare time he was catching up with all of his old friends (who never mentioned Hermione for obvious reasons, though it was difficult when talking about old times) and unpacking his numerous boxes. Finally he was done.

It happened one day that he had to get out his birth certificate. So he went to get it out of the safe. In the safe he found his old wand box. He opened it up. He had no idea why. It felt like something he had to do. In it he found a wand. He didn't know it was Hermione's wand. He thought he had lost his wand when he was drunk and bought a new wand only to find his old one. But for some reason he got this feeling of regret and remorse and sadness and guilt all at once. He just shrugged it off thinking that the feelings were associated with the shame of his drinking.

That night he had a weird dream about a bushy, brown haired girl.

She was sitting on the ground, under a bathroom sink, cowering in front of a troll. She was behind Snape, setting him on fire. She was in the circle of the black and purple fires choosing two bottles. Then a group of numbers and letters came up and a cord that was twisted into a curly-cue, but it's ends were missing. The numbers were 555, the letters were HER.

Then he woke up. His therapist had told him to write down any dream that came up because it might help him with the side effects of the war. (Yes, he also got a therapist to help him from not drinking.) Harry didn't know how dreams of a very distant past would help but he wrote it down anyway.

The next night he had an other weird dream. In this one the girl was staring up at a petrified cat. Then she was lying on a bed, petrified herself. He was trying to get something out of her hand. Then she was in her pajamas eating a feast. The letters HERMIO popped up and the numbers 555-4653. He woke up and wrote everything down.

The next night he had another dream. The girl was sitting at a table studying. Then she was storming out of the divination classroom. Then she was with him on the back of a hippogriff, helping him save Sirius. Then some letters popped up HERMIONE. Then the girl was back. Walking with him around the lake. Then helping him learn the summoning charm. Then she was floating underwater, tied to a rock along with three other people. Then she was cheering for him when he was walking into the maze.

Harry woke up in a cold sweat. It was three in the morning. He called Ron. "Hello? Ron Weasley speaking."

"Ron? It's me Harry. I think I'm going mad. I am starting to have very weird dreams." Harry said all of this in a rush. He was worried.

"Harry, man, calm down. You are not going mad. What are these dreams about?"

"Well the dreams are from, like, when we were very young. At Hogwarts." Harry proceeded to tell him about the past couple of nights and the dreams he had about the girl named Hermione.

He finished with: "I don't remember the girl but tonight a name popped up the name was 'HERMIONE'."

Ron paused for a few minutes. Harry thought Ron was trying to wake up. Really Ron was freaking out, while keeping the ear of the phone covered.

"WhatamIgoingtodo, whatamIgoingtodo, whatamIgoingtodo? Harry shouldn't be remembering her. I know, I'll tell him Hermione wasn't real. That it's his mind playing tricks on him because of the lack of booze. That it's to be expected and to ignore it. Yeah that'll work."

"Harry, it's your mind playing tricks on you man. It's because of the lack of Booze. It happens to people sometimes after they get off the juice. Just ignore it. It's nothing man."

"She seems real. Like she was alive once.

"Harry, she's not. If you must know, when you were drinking and we got in an argument, you would swear up and down that you had this girlfriend, named Hermione, that was always there for you when I wasn't and that she knew more about you than I did. She was an imaginary scapegoat to get me mad. I didn't want to tell you because I wanted that chapter of your life to be closed. Your subconscious must have fabricated your memories when you were drunk to make you believe what you were saying was actually true. Sorry man, but she is a fabrication of your mind. After a while these dreams will go away. It's gonna be alright."

"Thanks Ron. You're a good friend. Sorry I woke you up so early. Talk to ya later."

"Alright. Bye."

**It's when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone  
****Driving cross town just to see if she's home  
****Waking a friend in the dead of the night  
****just to hear him say it's gonna be alright  
****When you're finding things to do not fall asleep  
****Cause you know she'll be there in your dreams  
****that's when she's  
****more than a memory**

Ron sounded pressured. But maybe that was because he was tired. Or was he not telling everything he knew. Harry didn't know which. All he knew was Ron was lying. Harry knew for a fact that he had no contact with Ron the ten years he was an alcoholic. He wrote the dream down.

Over the next week Harry kept having the same dreams. He caught himself trying to dial someone else but actually dialing 555-4653. He didn't know who would be on the other line. He decided the only way to get away from these dreams was to not sleep. He would watch movies, drink a lot of coffee (which he preferred to tea anyway), and took potions and pills to keep himself awake. They didn't work for long. He eventually started falling back asleep. And with sleep came the dreams.

**Took a match to everything she ever wrote  
****watched her words go up in smoke  
****tore all her pictures off the wall  
****that ain't helping me at all**

Hermione was with him in the DA. She was talking to him after he kissed Cho. She was riding beside him on a thestral.

She was at the Weasley's with him. She was with him in the Slug Club. She was talking to him in the hospital wing, after Snape killed Dumbledore.

She was in the tent with him after Ron left. She was at Godric's Hollow, at his parent's grave with him. She was fighting in the battle.

Then she was injured, bleeding from many cuts. He was carrying her to the drawing room. Snape told him she was dead. He was at her funeral. They were putting the headstone on a grave. It said:

_Hermione Granger 1979-1998 A loving friend of both her friends and knowledge. A great student. A mentor. And a freer of house elves. Death is imminent in all our lives, so live your life to the fullest._

Then he woke up. Hermione Granger! The name sounded vaguely familiar. The type of familiar that comes after hearing a random name come up only once in a History of Magic class. Now he knew it was more that some random, once beer sodden, dream. He didn't know why he forgot about it. Maybe it was an affect of the beer. He wrote everything down and then went back to sleep.

The next day he got out a phonebook and looked up the Grangers. There were 3. He picked the one with the address 151 Dentist Way London, England. It was closest.

He dressed nicely and apparated to Dentist Way. He walked to 151 and knocked on the door. What looked to be a 50 year old woman opened the door, looked, closed the door, threw it open again and shouted "Harry!?!"

"Are you a Mrs. Jean Granger?"

"Yes, yes I am. Don't you remember me? You look like hell. They said you were an alcoholic. Maybe you forgot? Come in! Come in!" It's true. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He didn't care. He wanted answers, not to look good.

**'Cause when you're talking out loud and nobody's there  
****you look like hell and you just don't care  
****you're drinking more than you ever drank  
****and sinking down lower than you ever sank  
****When you find yourself falling down upon your knees  
****praying to God, begging him "please"  
****that's when she's  
****more than a memory  
****more than a memory **

The woman was talking very fast. She seemed to be embarrassed for shutting the door on him. He walked in behind her, still not sure of who she was.

"Madam, are you the mother of Hermione Granger?"

"Of course I am! Don't you remember? Can't you see the pictures of her all over the place? Are you okay?"

"I don't know ma'am. I seem to have lost some of my memory, and am trying to piece my life back together. You see, for the past ten years I have been an alcoholic. Six months ago, I went and got myself clean. It seems the booze affected my memory and I seem to have forgotten about my old life. Recently I have been having some weird dreams but Ron is not helping me. The dreams seem to have been about your daughter, but Ron is saying I had made her up when I was an alcoholic. The only problem with that theory is that I had no contact with anyone when I was drunk. Can you help me?"

**She's more  
****She's more**

"I don't know Harry, I know even less about this than you do."

"Can you tell me anything?"

"Look, I have this article from around the time she died. Maybe you should read it..." Her voice trailed away as she went to get the article. Harry was looking at all the pictures of Hermione. He found one of her with Ron and… him… at Hogwarts. Mrs. Granger came back in the room holding a very old clipping. She saw him looking at the picture. "You can have that if you want. She was very fond of that picture. She was very fond of you. She never stopped talking about you. Oh, you can have this too." She handed him the clipping looking like.

He started to read it:

"_Harry's Blunder: Did He Intentionally Kill His Best Friend?_

_Rita Skeeter, the Daily Prophet's star reporter has some shocking news about someone we all thought we knew. Harry Potter, 17, has jet black hair (I should know, for full details read __You-Know-Who is Dead: My Front Line View Through Harry Potter's Hair__! Pg 1) and green eyes. He is 5'9" and every girls dream date. He is on the good side but we all know that. What we don't know is if he has a darker side. Does he? _

_On October the 31st (exactly 16 years after the death of his parents) Harry's best friend, Hermione Granger died of suspicious circumstances. It was near the end of the battle (for full coverage on the battle, see pg 1), when Harry was fighting Voldemort, that it happened. Harry turned around and saw Hermione. He shouted some unheard-of spell. It sounded like Tescum pius. Blood just started spurting out of Hermione. _

_And then turned around and started muggle dueling with You-Know-Who. Of course, You-Know-Who being pure-blood, did not know what Harry was doing and could not fight back. For all of those out there who does not know what muggle dueling is. It is where you hit people with your hands and feet instead of using your wand. _

_Hermione died later that night despite the valiant efforts of Professor Severus Snape, potions master and Defense Against the Dark Arts expert for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to save her. Nothing is known about how Harry is taking this latest blow (if the accident really was an accident).--- _Oh. My. God. Not only did I know this girl, but I killed her too. What must you think of me? I am a horrible person."

"No, you're not. I was an accident. That Rita Skeeter is a cow. You know that."

"I am trying to figure out how you're daughter fit into my life, besides the last battle. Can you help me with that?"

"I believe I can. Let's see, you were her best friend for years. She is not made up. She was a year older than you, very smart, and whenever she was home never went a day without talking about you. She got injured in the war and died. Sorry but that's all I can really tell you. That's all I really know. Sorry, I don't know more."

"It's okay, you helped me a lot. At least now I know I'm not going crazy. Sorry about Hermione. I have to go see someone else." Harry's face was a mask of confidence but Mrs. Granger could see the rage in his eyes. She knew it was because of Ron and she felt sorry for Harry. All he wanted was the truth but his friend lied to him.

"I'm glad I could be of help. Sorry about Ron."

"Not as sorry as he's going to be." He said it with a voice filled with hurt and bitterness. She could tell he didn't understand why people insisted on doing this too him.

"Don't do anything rash. Please, don't hurt him."

"I won't, I'm just going to talk to him. Thanks for everything." Harry got up and left. He apparated to Ron and Lavender's house, and knocked on the door. He was barely suppressing his rage and thought he might actually punch Ron for making it seem like Harry had made up Hermione. But when Gwendolyn opened the door he felt some of his anger slide away. He was very fond of Gwendolyn and seeing her made him realize he didn't want to do anything to hurt her father, no matter if he lied to him or not.

**Cause when you're dialing her number just to hang up the phone  
****Driving cross town just to see if she's home  
****Waking a friend in the dead of the night  
****just to hear him say it's gonna be alright  
****When you're finding things to do not fall asleep  
****Cause you know she's waiting in your dreams  
****that's when she's  
****more than a memory **

"Hey Uncle Harry! -It's Uncle Harry Dad!- What brings you here?" Gwendolyn was extra happy to see Harry. He was always fun to play with and she always wanted to see his "pet" stag.

"Hi Gwendolyn. I need to talk to your father. May I see him?" Harry faked his cheeriness. She didn't need to know what was going on.

"Yeah, he's in here. Come on in." Gwendolyn's enthusiasm was immediately stymied. There was something in his voice that told her that this was not a pleasure trip. When she led him to the living room she went back to her bedroom. Something in his voice also told her that any discussion would not be very good for an 8-year-old-kid's ears.

"Hey Harry! What's up? You okay? You look mad about something."

"I don't know," Harry said with a shrug, "Let's try this again, who is Hermione Granger?"

"Look, I already told you. She was a figment of your beer ridden imagination. Any dreams you're having about her are nothing."

"Wrong. Try again." He looked quite demented with his head cocked violently to the side and a sneer crossing his lips with each word.

"Harry, I'm telling you, she's just a figment of yo-"

**People say she's only in my head  
****It's gonna take time but I'll forget**

Harry's hand flew to his robes so fast that Ron barely had any reaction time. But Harry didn't pull out his wand. Instead he pulled out the picture of the three of them and threw it at Ron. "Then who the fuck is that? Huh? Don't fucking tell me that's not her. I was just at her house. Mrs. Granger just gave that to me, so don't fucking lie. I want the truth! Now!" Harry said all of this in a dangerous whisper. His eyes were as dark as the other side of the full moon.

Ron just sat there, staring at the picture. Finally, with an air of defeat, he handed Harry back the picture and stood up.

"I'll start from the beginning. She was our best friend since our first year at Hogwarts. The dreams you've been having are memories. Don't ask me how you're accessing these memories, because I don't know. All I know is you aren't supposed to be able to.

Anyway, she got injured at the final battle. You brought her back to 12 Grimauld Place. You sent for Snape to heal her. You didn't talk to anyone else except to tell Snape it was the Sectumsempra curse. Then Snape told you she died of lack of blood. You just walked out. The next day Rita's article came out. It said you were the one who cast the curse. We all knew you loved her too much to do it on purpose, like Rita implied."

Harry took out the article Mrs. Granger gave him and read it again. Ron went on.

"You loved her too much. You stayed long enough for the funeral. Then you disappeared off the face of the earth.

10 years later, I look out my kitchen window and almost chock to death on my cornflakes. Hedwig is there, bringing me a letter from you.

It said you couldn't live with the depression anymore. That you were going to get your mind Oblivated and then get off the booze. It worked. 6 months later you were back in the world. All we had to do was remember not to mention her. Then you started getting the dreams.

Evidently the Oblivate spell has limits. I looked it up. If an object is powerful enough, it can break through the charm. Whether it be something with a powerful connection to the memories, or it's tortured out of you, like You-Know-Who did to poor Bertha Jorkins.

Anyway, when you first told me about your dreams, I didn't know what to do. I lied and told you is was because of the booze. I don't know how but somehow you figured it out. There's just 3 more things that I know. 1: You loved her more than life itself, 2: she loved you, and 3: It was an accident."

Ron sat back down. Harry just stood there looking as he did 10 years ago, when Snape gave him the news. There was a long silence, during which the memories of that night ran through his head. He slumped down into his chair. Finally he spoke. "I see it all now. I feel it too. It was my fault. I was waiting 'til after the war to do anything. But I never got the chance. If only I had seen who I was cursing. She is dead and it's all my fault." Huge sobs were racking his entire body. He looked as though his heart had been ripped out. He got up to leave.

"Harry! No! Don't say that! It was an accident! AN ACCIDENT!!" Ron made to follow him but remembered Gwendolyn. Lavender wasn't home so he took Gwendolyn to her friend Jamie's house.

Meanwhile, Harry made it home. It was like something had taken over his body and he walked to the safe. He took out the wand which he now knew was Hermione's. The wand had caused the memories to come back. The wand was what tied Hermione to the magical world. Wands were the things that every witch or wizard buys before going to Hogwarts. Without the wand, Hermione would never have met Harry. Waves of sadness, remorse, grief, rage, love, pain, just about any feeling you could think of that didn't include any form of happiness seemed to crash around his head and body. Suddenly, his way foreword was clear. Just as his wand had killed her, Hermione's wand was going to do the same for him.

He wrote a quick note and then picked her wand back up. He then said the simple incantation that would let him take his life.

When Ron got there 2 minutes later, he saw Harry sitting in his desk chair, Hermione's wand still in his hand. Ron couldn't believe it. He shook Harry. He checked his pulse. The body was still warm, but there was not heartbeat. It was plain to see that Harry was dead.

That was when Ron noticed 3 things on the desk in front of Harry. The picture, Rita's article, and a note. Ron picked it up, sat on the edge of Harry's bed, and read it. It said:

_People said she was only in my head,  
__It was going to take time but I'd forget.  
__They said I needed to get on with my life,  
__They didn't realize: _

_I loved her more than life itself,  
__Some memories just don't die.  
__Life without her was a living Hell,  
__And so I chose to die. _

_I love you Hermione.  
__See you in Heaven,  
__Unless I go to Hell.  
__Which I know I deserve,  
__For causing the end of your life. _

During Harry's funeral march, they played one sad, slow song that discribed his last 10 years perfectly: More Than A Memory.


End file.
